I wear my heart on my sleeve. That's no secret. the most important things in my life are love and kindness. My children, my family, my friends, my students and strangers. I often love more than I should and usually with nothing in return. I have a pure soul and so much selflessness that if you needed something regardless of what it was, I'd be there. Need to hide a body? I'll bring the shovel. no questions asked.
integrity. The way we treat people is so key. We never know what someone is battling in their own lives , in their own minds. And the words you say and the actions and behaviours you take can make or break someone; intentional or not.
BiPolar. I battle every single day just to wake up. I struggle to get through my days.
I fear being alone, rejected and judged. My mind fixates on moments and memories and over analyses them. Over and over again.
To the point of absolute frustration ; I could explode. It annoys the shit out of me. I look myself in the mirror every morning and say " you got this babe. You're gonna live another day" and every night I look myself in the mirror and say "that'll do pig" ( Babe reference duh)
my day is spent pouring every ounce of energy into my children and to my students. To strangers in the street. To the man at 7-11 where I get the paper every morning . The ladies at the grocery. The bakery. The cleaners. The window washer man at Duffys. I know almost everyone by name. I know their stories, what they're studying in school, home country , dreams. I take time to listen to them. I feel their energy , I take a look into their soul.
I didn't ask for the hand I was dealt in life. i didn't ask to be cursed with BiPolar. I posted the other day about how life is fair. We all get the same 9 month shake in the box and then the dice roll and some of us run 7's and some of us get the snake eyes.
It's just the way it goes.
everyone always says " you get what you give"
I think I am long overdue for at least a free fucking bubble tea or a waffle or something .
listening to other people helps me
It takes away my racing thoughts overactive emotions and all the pains in my heart.... contd in comments